The Self-Care Paradox

It’s no secret that women can feel disregarded by mainstream medicine. High maternal mortality rates persist, particularly among black women. Ignorance and apathy around reproductive issues like endometriosis is common. Doctors dismiss conditions that afflict women, like chronic fatigue syndrome, as little more than hysteria. Decades-long exclusion from research on conditions as fundamental as heart disease and pain have contributed to women’s unnecessary suffering—and even death.

It should come as no surprise, then, that women are turning to nontraditional methods to feel better.

In these wellness spaces — spas, retreat centers, practitioners’ offices, or living rooms — women find a gentle touch and a sympathetic ear. Instead of seven minutes of face time with your doctor (during which they might listen to your concerns for only 11 seconds), you get 60 minutes of undivided attention. Bodywork therapists and energy healers take time for you. They tell you that the pain you have is real. You are seen, as the saying goes. You are heard.

Wellness has become a stand-in for many people who have received unsatisfactory care from the medical establishment. But self-care isn’t health care.